Monday, May 07, 2007


How Many: 4

What: Stitches

Where: Left Index Finger

When: This pm.

Why: Because I couldn't say no to my son when he batted those big baby blues at me and begged me to make his newly found stick into a bow. Sigh.

That's what you get when you are a klutz and are handed a pocket knife and a stick.

Better me than him, though.

I knew right away that it wasn't good when the blood started to SPURT out. I applied pressure and raised it above my head for a minute or so before I slapped an industrial strength bandaid on it as tight as I could make it.

Oldest flew out the door to forage in the forest of the neighbor's back yard where the offending stick was found. I looked at adorable son #2 and said, "This isn't good. I think Mommy cut it really bad. I'm probably going to have to get stitches when Daddy gets home."

Concerned look followed by a long pause and then, "Can I go play in the forest?"

Sigh, "Sure."

I emailed the other half and informed him that I would be heading to prompt care when he got home from work.

The prompt care nurse gets the whole story then asks to look at it. I undo bandaid and it looks quite innocuous for a 1 inch long cut. I start to bend it and it begins to ooze just a little blood.

The doctor strolls in just moments later and asks me to come over to sink. He proceeds to squirt a barrel of water on it and it starts to sting and by sting I mean STING!

Nurse comes in and ask how much pain I'm in on a scale of 1-10. I say a solid 5. Since I was in no pain when I arrived I didn't think this was a good thing. Doctor and I share a look and I ask, "Stitches?"

"Yeah, I'd say two. Do you want Lidocaine? Since it will only be two you can go without since it'll be at least two stings for the shot," he blithely states.

Hahahahahah, as if.

I could tell it was going to be MORE THAN TWO STITCHES and I WANT DRUGS!

He agrees to dope my finger and starts stitching. Now I probably could have handled it without the drugs but I can't stand the tugging. It's the tugging that wigs me out completely. So I did my best to not watch and babbled with the nurse while the doctor put in not 2, not 3, but 4, YES YOU HEARD ME, 4 stitches in my finger.

I asked to take a picture, or 5, before they bandaged it up. Just for YOU MY DEAR READER. I am so thoughtful.

So if you are the least bit squeamish DON'T LOOK DOWN. Too late.

That's how much I care.

Have a good day.



Kate said...

You've got yourself an odd idea of how to best spend an afternoon. Next time, just pour a margarita or something, okay?


Here's to quick-healing fingers and no more pocket-knife games.

Short-Stacked Shamus said...

For further reference: Anyone invites you to play mumbletypeg, say no and walk away. (Regardless how blue the tempter's eyes.)

Here's hoping yr a righty . . . hate it if that were the finger w/which you fold/call/raise . . .

Anonymous said...

you should put some lipstick around that and a couple of dots for eyes and you would have a really cool finger puppet.

post it I it!

Squib aka lazy ass non blog signer inner...

Godard said...

Oh man, I'm squeamish and that was.....hilarious!

Gadzooks64 said...

Yeah, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.... then it's fricking hilarious!

Thanks for all the, er, sympathy!

Aquaman said...

That looks like it hurt. Keep it clean so no gangreen :)

Happy Mother's Day!