Monday, September 03, 2007

The Unexpected

Scenario One

Let's say, for argument's sake, that you and a friend, brother, sister, cousin, vv/e, pick up a couple Ginormous Gulps from your favorite quickstop.

You opt for cola X and your partner opts for cola Y.

Let's say, for argument's sake, that you enjoy both of these choices and they are in the top 3-4 choices you usually make for soda.

Now, somehow, after a while, you accidentally take a huge drink FROM THE YOUR FRIENDS' DRINK not realizing it wasn't your own.

GASP, CHOKE, SPUTTER, SPEEEEEEEEW!!!

Even though you like cola Y just as much as cola X, when you aren't expecting to be tasting cola Y it tastes like horse dooky.

Now, I'm sure I'm not the only one that has done this.

Scenario Two

You stop buy your favorite quickstop and get a tankard of soda - not your number 1 choice but something in the top 4.

You run your errands drinking your soda when for some strange reason you take a slurp expecting to get your number 1 choice but instead get what you actually chose - number 4.

GASP, CHOKE, SPUTTER, SPEEEEEEEEW!!!

Yep, horse dooky, again.

I'm sure I'm not the only one this has happened to. Right? Right!?!?!

Getting old is a bitch. I'm sure all of my older friends (not Zerb, Lynx, Squib)* can attest that this has happened to them at some point or another. Don't try to deny it, I know better.


* not to be confused with Zerbet, Lynx56 or Squibbles. Absolutely not. Really.

Scenario Three

My in-laws came over for dinner last night and brought dessert with them. I knew they were bringing a pie from the local apple orchard. In my experience they ALWAYS bring an apple pie.

When it came time for dessert I thought the pie looked a little "off" but I figured I would eat it anyway. If I got sick later I'd blame the pie.

It tasted good but not quite right. I couldn't put my finger on it but something was definitely not kosher with this pie.

We sat making small talk when my mother-in-law mentioned they had gotten the pie for my sister-in-law who prefers PEACH to APPLE.

OMGWTF!?!?!? PEACH! You must be kidding me. It would have tasted so much better had I known I was eating PEACH pie instead of thinking I was eating APPLE pie.

No wonder that pie tasted like horse dooky!

Worst part is: I ATE IT ANYWAY!

I started to chuckle at myself and explained to my MIL that I thought something tasted funny about that pie. I told her I assumed it was apple since that's what they always bring. The most ironic part: the label for the pie was staring me straight in the face the whole time I was eating it!

Getting old sucks.

7 comments:

am said...

HA!

I didn't make the "old" list. Cool.

Gadzooks64 said...

Hhahahah!

Damnit, you so were on that list!

My brain is shot.

MacAnthony said...

I haven't the slightest clue WTF you are talking about. But hey, at least it isn't a bad beat post.

Lynx56 said...

I never get the wrong soda. This is a function of having kids, not age.

OTOH I dug into what was advertised (by my host) as a peach cake and doubted all the way through my slice that it was really just a plain white cake with a couple of peach slices on top. I felt a huge sense of relief when someone else made that observation. I figured it was a mini-stroke in the area controlling tastebuds.

Godard said...

Don't worry, pretty soon you'll be so old that you won't be able to taste anything anymore.

Erwin Blonk said...

In two weeks I´ll be 39. That´s not old, is it?

The weirdest thing is with talking about events, movies, songs etc from my past and suddenly realizing the nephew or twenty-something colleague was very young or not even born when it happened, while I remember it like it was yesterday.
Good thing the remembering part is not an issue anymore when I get really old.

My 5yo son loves Star Wars and I was 10 or so when I saw it for the first time.

Erik said...

I have done this with orange juice and milk.. YUCK.... and I have been doing this for years, I am 34..